Inspired by a take on the Baz Luhrmann song Everybody’s Free ( to Wear Sunscreen ) but rewritten for triathletes I thought I would have a go at a version for tech geeks. So relax and imagine the chilled out vibes of the song as you read..

Ladies and Gentleman of the class of ’16
Wear Sunscreen

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it
The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists
Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
Than my own meandering experience, I will dispense this advice now

Enjoy the power and simplicity of your apps, oh, never mind
You’ll never understand the power and simplicity of your apps
Until 2 years from now and many updates later
You’ll look back at them and recall in a way that you can’t grasp
How they evolved into the confusing mess they’ve now become

Don’t worry about having the latest tech
Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to explain to people
Why they should use a password manager
The real troubles in your life are apt to be the things
that never crossed your worried mind
The kind that blindsides you at 4pm when a software update bricks your system
On a day you need it most
Change your passwords, it’s been too long

Saying, don’t be reckless with other people’s hardware
Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours

Back up

Don’t waste your time on defragging
Sometimes your upload is fast, sometimes it’s slow
The process is long and in the end there’s not much you can do about it
Remember the retweets and likes you receive
Forget the abuse
If you succeed in doing this tell me how
Keep your old USB pen drives, throw away your VGA cables

Switch off

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what to share
The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22
What they should blog about
Some of the most interesting 40 year olds still don’t
Update your apps
Be kind to your phone
You’ll miss it when it’s gone

Maybe you’ll upgrade, maybe you won’t
Maybe you’ll change OS, maybe you won’t
Maybe you’ll stick with Android all your life, maybe you’ll swap
To iOS on your 40th birthday
Whichever you chose, don’t congratulate yourself too much
Or berate yourself either
Your choices are fine, so are everybody else’s

Enjoy your computer, use it every way you can
Don’t be afraid of it or what other people think of it
It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own
Try VR, even if you have nowhere else to do it but your own living room
Read the privacy statement, even if you click yes anyway
Do not read YouTube comments, they will only made you feel bad

Get to know your Google products, you’ll never know when they’ll be gone for good
Be smart with your cloud storage, they’re your best link to your past
And the hardware most likely most likely to stick with you in the future

Understand that followers come and go
But a precious few hundred, who should hold on

Work hard to bridge the gaps between friends online and in real life
For as the older you get, the more you’ll value real human contact
Live in New York but leave before it makes you hard
Live in Silicon Valley but leave before you form a startup

Browse

Accept certain inalienable truths
You are the product, robots will have your job and
you too will get old
And when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young
You weren’t their product, robots were dumb and Facebook was a nice company

Never rely on one backup solution
Maybe you’ll have a local one, maybe you’ll have an off site
But you never know when each one might fail

Never mess too much with your system files
Or by the time your system is 1-year-old it’ll run like a Dell laptop on Vista

Be careful which forums you use for advice
Forum advice can be a form of torture, fishing through endless discussion threads
Avoiding scary command line solutions
And the eventually deciding after several hours or days just to leave it alone
It’ll probably sort itself out eventually anyway

But trust me on the sunscreen